THE 300 BEST UK OFFICIAL CHARTS NUMBER ONE SINGLES ACCORDING TO ME*
(*ALTHOUGH IT ALL GETS A BIT EQUAL REALLY AS THERE’S LOADS OF AMAZING STUFF)
The Official Singles Chart is 70 this week. There have been 1404 different Number One singles. Here are 300 I dig.
It’s important to detail some form of criteria that I used for this list. Whereas some songs may have done better in my Favourite Singles Of All Time lists in recent assessments, this list is — or at least the first 50 or so tunes, combine not only the impact on myself, but on humanity in general or the BANG that happened as a result. They may have crawled up the charts accumulating interest and sales or gone crashing in at the top, some chart toppers I liked because of memories or how they acted as a soundtrack to moments in time.
Also, yeah, I couldn’t be arsed to stick to one-per-act. Why should I deprive my taste? And it IS my taste, so please keep the rioting to a minimum. You all have your favourites - but these are mine.
Oh, and because we’re all busy people, the first 30 have (mostly) quotes from social media posts that I made when celebrating an anniversary or somesuch, so that explains why it may sound a little excitable at times.
- I Feel Love — Donna Summer
‘There’s a page on Facebook that occasionally pops up charts of yore for some kind of “look at all these non-punk records in the chart it’s like punk never happened” (not to be confused with the tremendous Smash Hits archive Like Punk Never Happened or even the Dave Rimmer book Like Punk Never Happened) (That’s enough Like Punk Never Happeneds, thanks Ian — Everyone) and it invites viewers to have a bit of a sneer that Boney M, ABBA, ELO, Hot Chocolate etc are/were extremely popular and that punk isn’t/wasn’t. Usually I’m a bit “mate, there’s some fucking terrific numbers in there, but you come for Olivia Newton John? Make sure you have back-up, fucker” when I can be arsed, but, y’know, maybe, MAYBE punk actually never happened to the degree that Baccara did.
I’m not disputing the cultural impact at all, and boy, I’ve sat through enough documentaries and read enough books to realise that lots of people were affected by punk, or primarily they were affected by the antics of The Sexual Pistols and their 12 months (and from Anarchy to Bollocks, it was effectively one year). I’m of the opinion that the Pistols were indeed very important, and I believe Bodies to be their best toe-tap (ie: the one that hasn’t descended into parody because it was a bit heavy and sweary). Anyway, I’m also of the mind that The Damned were far better and the first at all that palaver. I mention the Pistols because yesterday Pretty Vacant was 45, and today I Feel Love is 45, and so it seemed like something of a Covonia-fuelled, at-my-mum’s, Fancy That! type think-up.
Earlier this week I was reading Turn The Beat Around: The Secret History of Disco (2 for £7 at Fopp or £4 each — a snip!) and during the section about Punk Funk, the writer suggests that Disco and Punk were actually the same thing and caused as much of a threat to society. Both emerged from underrepresented classes (punk: working class/ disco: ethnic minorities and gays), both went huge, like silly-quick and became colossally stupid with cash-ins and whatnot. And — sidebar — how Van McCoy’s The Hustle was made in about ten minutes and was deemed a bit like an easy-listening number etc and brought a middle-class suburban element to disco etc led me to hear it with new ears (I’ve always thought the correct answer to ‘What would you do in a Four Minute Warning’ was ‘put The Hustle on’.)
There was another chapter all about I Feel Love. How it foxed and upset people. How the original soul and funk turns found it too alienating and European (well, it was babes) and how Donna Summer was presented as a disembodied voice over dehumanising electronics and that any sort of FEEL or BOOGIE was erased in favour of surface and effect. How it triggered Hi-NRG to become the true music of gay men because the culture at that point was about gratification, almost machine-like hook-ups and a clone-y blankness of being the music of a sex robot. Cock. Bumming. MEN. Etc. (There’s a whole other post/ chapter/ theory about how dehumansing and blank some music in sex clubs can be, how you’re not giving a fuck about the actual music because the monotonous rhythmic elements are helping you, um, fuck).
I also read the chapter about the Disco Sucks movement, and how widespread it was. How some DJ laughed when Van McCoy died suddenly etc, and it was fucking ghastly behaviour all round. Basically, racism and homophobia by people who wanted Joe Walsh or something. What was, um, “qwhite” significant that the debris of a lot of records destroyed during that event were those by black artists in general, and who had nowt to do with disco whatsoever. The impact of Disco Sucks basically destroyed everything in one fell swoop: Chic went from the biggest act in the US to literally nothing, KC & The Sunshine Band’s label TK filed for bankruptcy a year or so later, the Bee Gees fell from grace pretty much instantly etc. Punk, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have quite such a concerted effort of acrimony and cancelling aimed at it (yes, John Lydon having bottles thrown at him was hardcore, but the worst that punk had was a few towns and councils upset and banning them, nobody hired Wembley to destroy their records etc). ALSO, New Wave came along (basically synthesisers) and was more dimensional* (*listenable) and the nature of punk more as a DIY aesthetic was far more appealing than having to tolerate Sham 69 or something. Disco Sucks was a racist and homophobic systematic destruction of a music and culture at a level that the ‘year zero’/ destroy aspect of punk could only have dreamed of.
tl;dr: Punk was about No Future. But The Future, in the form of The Greatest Single Piece Of Music Ever Made, had other plans. You hear the Sex Pistols and you hear heavily amped rock’n’roll standing on some scaffolding because SHOCK. You hear I Feel Love and you hear The Future. A Future that we’ve still yet to catch up with. There’s nothing more punk than that, frankly.’
2. Relax — Frankie Goes To Hollywood
‘Here are some reasons why I love the perv-pop masterpiece.
- The original video put me off the idea of ever going to a gay club, believing them to be full of tigers and some unsavoury activity involving water being thrown at you while strapped to a wheel. My research in the last 30 years has suggested that at some occasions, letting a tiger loose would be quite lol.
- A certain early press shot of Holly & Paul — wearing what one thought to be some special swimming outfits — having a little lie-down in a wet bathroom #feelings
- The 16 minute Sex Mix which is essentially a load of samples of zips and splashing sounds.
- Staring at the single sleeve for quite a while.
- Actually hearing the ‘sick filth’ rant of Mike Read’s “I’m not playing this record — it’s a bit rude” announcement on the radio and being a bit annoyed with him. The clot.
- Wondering, based on first impressions, which member of the band was either going to knife you or touch your penis. Or both.
- Kicking off an obsession with ZTT, which saw two thirds of the records I bought from 1984–86 either some The Face-championed art buffoonery involving spanners and high concept amazingness or remixes and limited editions of Frankie singles.
- Reading the ‘And Suddenly There Came A Bang’ booklet where Nasher reckons (back then in 1984) that Relax will be still be on jukeboxes in 50 years time. He’s unlikely to be proven wrong at this rate.
- There was definitely something going on, which wasn’t the gay-lite innuendo of the other pop stars of that time, this was far more dirty and butch. And as time wears on, the mist clears and you suddenly realise how revolutionary such a thing seemed.
- While not entirely sheltered as a child, it was the first time I understood there was another meaning to ‘come’, and genuinely confused when Mark O’Toole said it was about motivation. Ah, the innocence.
Fucking hell. WHAT. A. TUNE.’
3. West End Girls — Pet Shop Boys
‘- What a record.
- No, seriously. Let’s not piss about here.
- And to think within the next five years they knocked out Please, Actually, Disco, Introspective, Behaviour, a wonky film and a Christmas №1 as well as being generally really ace.
- On one of my first times in London, Mark Frith took me to The Dive Bar as it was mentioned in this tune.
- It’s one of the textbook ‘hanging around the lower reaches of the charts for three months then becoming a massive №1 in January’ numbers of the 1980s.
Hurrah!’
4. Theme From S’Express — S’Express
‘I am listening to the Theme from S’Express by the S’Express groop. There are times when I feel that this might be the greatest achievement of humanity’
5. Dancing Queen — ABBA
‘By rights Dancing Queen should have been the first single I ever bought myself. There I was in the vast cave that was Debenhams’ Record Department in Ipswich, a place that seemed so exciting and intriguingly lit and glamorous, and what felt as if it stocked EVERY record imaginable. Everything I would ever need would be here! Anyway, I was there in this parlour of pop looking for Dancing Queen in their chart rack. I WAS ABOUT TO BUY DANCING QUEEN! BY THE ABBA GROOP! OH MY GOD!!! I will surely look back on this moment with great pride in the years ahead and marvel at my excellent taste! HOWEVER, they’d sold out of Dancing Queen. I was gutted. In a strategy that would come to colour future record purchasing expeditions and not wanting to waste this moment, I settled upon Chicago’s woozy If You Leave Me Now instead. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Chicago’s woozy If You Leave Me Now (it is elsewhere on this list.) I was freshly seven years old and the soft-focus kind-faced moods of If You Leave Me Now appealed. It felt like a large beanbag of a record. A song that I’d continue to enjoy over the years on or off drugs. The key thing though, is that If You Leave Me Now is NOT Dancing Queen.
Yet Dancing Queen, for its ubiquity and overplayed status, has grown ever more fondly in my heart over the years. If you imagine an ABBA Groop scale, Dancing Queen works well as both the entrance and apex of ABBA — to the left you go down the slightly cheesier route where you hit upon King Kong Song, or turn right towards the more adult, sultry, moody and occasional sexual ABBA roam — Summer Night City, The Visitors, The Winner Takes It All, The Day Before You Came. Dancing Queen sits there in the centre and you can choose to go either way from there. It is ABBA encapsulated. ABBA as shorthand to alien civilisations. Although, make no bones about it, had Summer Night City reached Number One, this chart would be an entirely different affair.’
6. Don’t You Want Me — The Human League
‘There’s a slightly longer gap between the tracks after Love Action and DYWM as they thought DYWM was a bit naff. As an aside, anyone who calls it Don’t You Want Me Baby deserves prison. DYWM is not naff, but for years I was a bit fed up of it as it was some sort of ’80s shorthand’ but I heard it coming on after the news on the radio last year and it sounded fucking magnificent.
But it’s not Love Action though eh?’
‘If you want to know the wonky appeal of why The Human League are so fantastic, I offer this interview highlight from a vast array of interview highlights: As Philip once said ‘“I thought ‘Being Boiled’ would be №1. Then ‘The Dignity of Labour’ came out and I thought, ‘well, I know it’s a bit unusual but it might just get to №1’. We knew we were going to be a top group two years ago. We’d got all the names trademarked so people couldn’t rush out and make t-shirts because we were going to be so popular, instantly. Then we just sat around and waited for people to buy the records.” “And they didn’t” pointed out Susan.’
7. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head — Kylie Minogue
‘September 2001. The world was a very different, slightly more innocent place. Life as we all knew it was about to be shattered by an impact that was heard all around the world, and the repercussions would be felt even now. It was of course the release of this.’
8. Ghost Town — The Specials
‘Blimey. Inequality, injustice, unrest, anger — you name it, the past was chockablock with all that back then. How things have changed!’
9. Telstar — Tornados
‘- What a record
- Recorded and released in just over a fortnight.
- It’s about 2,000 sales off a million or something
- It was one of my dad’s favourites too
- Amazing’
10. Wuthering Heights — Kate Bush
“Hi everyone! It’s meeee! Wuthering Heights by the iconic spooksome lungsmith Kate Bush here, and I’m 43 today! Yay me! I was supposed to have been released in November 1977 but depending on who you believe, I was held back because Bushy wanted to change the sleeve. Although the truth of the matter was that Mull of Kintyre by The Wings Group was selling shitloads and EMI thought I might get lost in the punter’s rush to buy Macca’s bagpipery (the clots) and might not have had the impact of bending everybody’s heads the way I did. Anyway, look, I’m still REALLY fucking amazing after all these years if I may say so myself. Do yourself a favour and stick me on very bloody loud and go WOW (lol) all over again. Hurrah!” *spins hauntedly in a ‘I’ve studied under Lindsay Kemp y’know’ way*’
11. Setting Sun — The Chemical Brothers
‘What a bleedin’ racket* (*fucking amazing)’
12. Heart Of Glass — Blondie
‘It’s quite wild to think that some old punk squares thought this was a disgraceful sell-out and ‘not punk’ or some bollocks. Fucking dicks.’
13. Bad Romance — Lady Gaga
‘Gaga. Honestly, sometimes you think the rest of pop music should just bugger off and leave her to it.’
14. Two Tribes — Frankie Goes To Hollywood
‘What a record. Seriously. WHAT. A. RECORD.’
15. Vogue — Madonna
‘The Immaculate Collection contains all that — Holiday to Vogue (well, okay pedants, plus the rumpo-up of Justify My Love and the houser Rescue Me). It is not just an album but a handbook to every single pop-facing star that follows — yer Gagas, Perrys, Mariahs, Duas and yer Little Mixers. The box ticking off of outrage, banging hits, provocation, working with the right names at the right time and occasionally saying “GAY RIGHTS” all comes from her. This is the blueprint. This is how she did it, and how YOU can do it too. So for every iffy remix of Frozen, artbooks of her being licked out by Vanilla Ice or paying £500 for tickets to see her ignore her hits, this is the reason she gets away with it and why virtually every queer kid of a certain age will always love her.’
16. Rock Your Baby — George McCrae
‘There are still less than 40 singles that have sold over ten million copies worldwide in the history of pop, Rock Your Baby sold 11 million, making it equal with Cher’s Believe and Carl Douglas’ Kung Fu Fighting and just slightly less than Do They It’s Christmas. Which is handy as it effectively — along with Hues Corporation’s Rock The Boat — invented Disco. The story goes was that Wayne ‘KC & The Sunshine Band’ Casey and guitarist Jerome Smith recorded it in 45 minutes and, although not intended for him initially, George just so happened to be in the studio and recorded a vocal for it and everyone thought it wasn’t bad, and so anyway huzzah. One of the first songs to use a drum machine too. So it was kind of a big deal. Also, isn’t it peculiar that the first signs of disco came with songs using ‘rock’ as a title. Just putting it out there, should you be looking for a Fancy That.’
17. Freak Like Me — Sugababes
‘I hope there isn’t some reprogramming for future line-ups going on. After you submit your details and you take delivery of a weird plant that goes all Body Snatchers while you sleep. You think you’ve escaped being conscripted into them and see Donald Sutherland, thinking he’s survived too, then he launches into Overload.’
18. Fastlove — George Michael
‘Fastlove — the most performed/ played song in the UK in 1996 - so eat it, Wannabe — George himself is the one going out for NSA anonymous bunk-ups and enjoying outdoor knob-touch or going off to sleaze about in a club. There’s no coat-check up Hampstead Heath’s fuck tree, and, well, some people quite enjoy the feel of foliage on their genitals. What a telling line ‘in the absence of security’ is too. There really is no way of sugar-coating this, but there’s nothing like the rush and illicit thrill of going to a sex club, wandering around and checking out the other patrons of the sex club, because those patrons, like yourself, are there at the sex club because they want sex. Same goes for saunas. Oh pur-lease, you’re not there for the health benefits.’
‘it’s odd adjusting to Tuesday evenings when a series of Later ends. I’m usually half-cut and yodelling to Fastlove on a tube at this time.’
19. The Model — Kraftwerk
‘The Man Machine contained their chart-topper The Model, which seems completely mad now: “It’s a five year old record made by Germans that pretend to be robots”
“Well, let’s slot it in for a week between Shaky and The Jam, and it can fight off Being Boiled!” which seemed like the last gasp of the futurists ahead of an incoming Goombay Dance Band.’
20. Mouldy Old Dough — Lieutenant Pigeon
‘What a number. Still sounds like a carpet pub, yet a bit future. I can imagine the pop people of 1972 thinking this was their I Feel Love. Or something.
Imagine how different life would’ve been if Brian Eno came into the studio excitedly with a copy of Mouldy Old Dough, and declared to David Bowie that he’d heard the future.’
21. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy — Rod Stewart
‘After viewing last night’s Top of the Pops, wherein Rod Stewart sat atop the hit parade with his amazing number ‘Do Ya Think I’m Sexy’, the video bothers me not for the bit where Rod is sitting in the bar with a hot laydee comparing make-up, unaware that she’s wearing shapeshifting clothing. Neither is the line about having no milk and coffee, which is just not on if you’re trying to be a good host. You can’t fob off your guest, who is probably gasping for some form of hot beverage after a night of hard lovin’ and rumpo, with sitting in bed watching some old film.
NO.
The bit that enrages me is that there are three guitarists, a bassist, drummer and keyboardist accompanying Rod, but for a tune with a saxophone solo — no saxophonist. The original idea during the honking was probably footage of Rod and friend getting kebabs or something, but was probably deemed too racy for the time. So instead, the bassist does some squat-jump thing, while the assembled musicians have the arrogant grins of mild cocaine use and “Hark at me — playing faggy disco”. Meanwhile, Rod just looks sensational and sex panther-ish in his perv-breeks and lovely hair. Probably thinking about buying some antiques with Britt, or what’s for tea.’
22. Back To Life — Soul II Soul
‘Club Classics Vol. 1 was one of those albums that everyone seemed to have. Summer 1989 had its moments, but hearing this on the radio AND seeing it kick off massively in a sweaty club showed that it was a number for the ages.’
23. Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick — Ian Dury & The Blockheads
‘I was walking into town with this on my headphones and discovered that I basically knew all the words off by heart, which is slightly mad really. Even the Roland Rashaan Kirk-esque sax solo, which is like the most free jazz moment to ever top the charts.’
24. Good Vibrations — The Beach Boys
‘WEEEOooooOOOH! OOOooooOOH! It must have been worth Brian Wilson losing his marbles and living in a sandbox in exchange for going further out with Good Vibrations. Well, you hope so anyway.’
25. 3 AM Eternal — The KLF
‘Amazing that when a war was going on that the machine gun was edited out. I appreciate it might not have been handy at the time, but it’s still quite exciting. The KLF were effectively a machine gun intro as an entire career.’
26. Nothing Compares 2 U — Sinead O’Connor
‘You have to feel for Prince in a way. Imagine midway through 1994, being pulled out of an 18 hour funk jam while making his third triple album of that month, to be notified by his assistant “Sir, it’s the United Kingdom. They’ve opted to make The Most Beautiful Girl In The World your first British Number One.” And him thinking “so When Doves Cry, 1999, Purple Rain, Raspberry Beret, Gett Off, Alphabet Street, Sign O’ The Times and Kiss… Hell, even fucking Batdance weren’t good enough for those bitches to put at the top, but this is???” And then going back into his studio slightly fuming. Then probably getting a fax from Elton John saying “Tell me about it. Think of all the amazing iconic tunes I be-lunged and those fuckers deciding that Sacrifice was more worthy of my first solo Number One Xxx” Perhaps he turned to Stevie Wonder for counsel, to be told “Oh mate. Now you know how I feel.” In an ideal world there’d be at least ten songs by Prince in this Top 300. Unfortunately we have to settle for two that aren’t even sung by him. Fair to say that Sinead did a pretty good job though. Other fun facts: I’ve been to the park in Paris where she shot the moodsome video several times, as it’s where they hold Rock en Seine. Fancy that!’
27. Paperback Writer — The Beatles
‘Basically one of the most exciting 138 seconds of all time. And backed by Rain! Jesus we were lucky to have them (even if they split when I was born. Not in protest or anything)’
28. Tainted Love — Soft Cell
‘HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY TAINTED LOVE BY THE SOFT CELL
- Soft Cell had been knocking around for a short while being really quite avant up in Leeds uni, and known for smearing cat food over themselves (or something) before their record label took one last punt at another single after Memorabilia failed to do owt, and before you know it, the parents of pop kids throughout the land were despairing at this sordid be-bangled FILTH on Top of the Pops.
- Within the space of a single, Marc Almond had myths around about something unsavoury involving a pint mug (or something). He was the late 1981 equivalent of a meme. He was spoofed unhilariously on Not the Nine O’Clock News too.
- Tainted Love was the biggest-selling single of 1981. Except it wasn’t because due to a week’s worth of chart sales getting lost down the back of a sofa* (*the charts didn’t count the sales between Christmas and New Year) it transpired that the biggest-seller was in fact Don’t You Want Me, which I understand was a song by some turn called The Human League.
- I mean, Marc is a massive T.Rex fan; he changed his named from Peter to Marc (his full name is actually Peter Mark Sinclair Almond) and Marc Bolan hadn’t even been dead five years, yet there was Almond covering Bolan’s girlfriend’s best-known song. That’s a bit spooky.
- They invented the killer rave drug ecstasy! When they went off to New York to reswizzle their debut album into Non-Stop Ecstatic Dancing, they met a charming lady named Cindy X who introduced them to the drug and after doing it they’d then listen to All Cats are Grey by the Cure really loud, as acid house had yet to be invented at that point.
- In an early terrifying yet cosmic moment, when holidaying in Corton in August 1981, my sister and I danced to the post-cabaret DJ, and while grooving to Tainted Love discovered that it was the 12inch — that neither of us had actually heard before — and so styled it out as the song went on, but also mindblown at it going into Where Did I Love Go. It made me think that the DJ was magic, conjuring Tainted Love into something new RIGHT THERE. We were the only two dancing at this point too, so our training in DANCE (I’d just passed my Cha Cha exam, and she used to win awards from competitive ballroom) (darling) helped us through a very long eight minutes. It felt quite ‘Hello, I’m Ian. I’m approaching my 12th birthday and what with this, the new look Human League, and The Specials splitting up, I’m now fully on board with synthesisers.’ And to think I’d actually asked for Wordy Rappinghood. I’d left primary school a nutty boy and starting secondary school as a full-time FUTURIST.
- One thing that is often overlooked is how big Soft Cell were. In the twelve months from Tainted Love, they had four other Top 4 hits, a Top 5 album, a Top 6 remix album and were basically huge everywhere.
- In fact because they were so huge, they took all of the drugs (including their own invention ecstasy) to cope with their hugeness and were rewarded with massive nervous breakdowns.
- It spent 43 weeks on the Billboard “Hot” 100, which was quite a record-breaking thing back then. However, The Soft Cell are deemed one hit wonders over in the U.S. for they are a country full of clots.
- It was reswizzled in 1991, and was a hit all over again!
- Tainted Love has been covered and sampled by all sorts of people, most notably by Rihanna on her toe-tap S.O.S. It’s also been covered by Coil, which was the UK’s first charity single release to raise money for AIDS.
- Tainted Love, then. Like all the classics, it’s been played to death, almost to the point where you never wanted to hear it again, and yet endured because, well, it’s actually amazing.’
29. Into The Groove — Madonna
‘I’m fairly sure Madonna would’ve liked another crack at the “I’m waiting” line at the start of Into The Groove. Sounds a bit too ad-libby and puny as to fill out the introduction after the strident, directional and business-like “AND YOU CAN DANCE… FOR INSPIRATION”. Also, the goths dancing in this video are everything. *shuffles papers* More updates from 1985 as we get them.’
30. One Kiss — Calvin Harris/ Dua Lipa
‘Sometimes a song comes along and before you know it, it’s everywhere. One Kiss sounded amazing initially, and throughout that summer I would hear it in Paris, Berlin and, um, my headphones almost constantly. I officially dig Dua now.’
31. The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore — Walker Brothers
32. Get It On — T Rex
33. Beetlebum — Blur
34. Touch Me — Rui Da Silva
35. Uptown Top Ranking — Althia & Donna
36. A Whiter Shade Of Pale — Procol Harum
37. With Every Heartbeat — Kleerup Ft. Robyn
38. Crazy In Love — Beyonce
39. I Can’t Get No Satisfaction — The Rolling Stones
40. You Spin Me Round — Dead Or Alive
41. Blockbuster — Sweet
42. Are Friends Electric — Tubeway Army
43. Careless Whisper — George Michael
44. I Heard It Through The Grapevine — Marvin Gaye
45. Wonderful Land — The Shadows
46. Je’taime Moi Non Plus — Serge Gainsbourg
47. Love Grows — Edison Lighthouse
48. I’m Not In Love — 10cc
49. Space Oddity — David Bowie
50. The Promise — Girls Aloud
51. Always On My Mind — Pet Shop Boys
52. Reach Out I’ll Be There– Four Tops
53. The Winner Takes It All — ABBA
54. Never Gonna Give You Up — Rick Astley
55. Tiger Feet — Mud
56. I Feel Fine — The Beatles
57. Block Rockin Beats — The Chemical Brothers
58. These Boots Were Made For Walkin’ — Nancy Sinatra
59. Billie Jean — Michael Jackson
60. Toxic — Britney Spears
61. Ashes To Ashes — David Bowie
62. Free — Deniece Williams
63. Bridge Over Troubled Water — Simon & Garfunkel
64. More Than A Woman — Aaliyah
65. She Loves You — The Beatles
66. Baby Love — The Supremes
67. Something In The Air — Thunderclap Newman
68. It’s A Sin — Pet Shop Boys
69. We Found Love — Rihanna
70. Cars — Gary Numan
71. A Different Corner — George Michael
72. Push The Button — Sugababes
73. Band Of Gold — Freda Payne
74. Night Fever — Bee Gees
75. Start — The Jam
76. Never Ever — All Saints
77. Sugar — Archies
78. Music — Madonna
79. Pump Up The Volume — M/A/R/R/S
80. …Baby One More Time — Britney Spears
81. I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ — Scissor Sisters
82. Umbrella — Rihanna
83. If You Leave Me Now — Chicago
84. Son Of My Father — Chicory Tip
85. You’re My First, My Last, My Everything — Barry White
86. Groovejet — Spiller
87. Can The Can — Suzi Quatro
88. Brass In Pocket — Pretenders
89. Jesus To A Child — George Michael
90. Day Tripper — The Beatles
91. Gonna Make You A Star — David Essex
92. Cum On Feel The Noize — Slade
93. Hung Up — Madonna
94. Double Barrel — Dave & Ansel Collins
95. I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor — Arctic Monkeys
96. Jumping Jack Flash — The Rolling Stones
97. Killer — Adamski
98. Knowing Me Knowing You — ABBA
99. Slow — Kylie Minogue
100. Yes Sir, I Can Boogie — Baccara
and…
101. Geno — Dexys Midnight Runners
102. Dry Your Eyes — The Streets
103. American Boy — Estelle
104. Freedom — Wham!
105. Maggie May — Rod Stewart
106. Video Killed The Radio Star — The Buggles
107. Believe — Cher
108. Atomic — Blondie
109. Back For Good — Take That
110. Dare — Gorillaz
111. Someone Like You — Adele
112. Brimful Of Asha — Cornershop
113. Mamma Mia — ABBA
114. A Town Called Malice — The Jam
115. Merry Xmas Everybody — Slade
116. Sound Of The Underground — Girls Aloud
117. I Hear You Knocking — Dave Edmunds
118. December 63 — Four Seasons
119. Another Brick In The Wall — Pink Floyd
120. See My Baby Jive — Wizzard
121. Let’s Dance — David Bowie
122. Get Lucky — Daft Punk
123. Hot Love — T Rex
124. I Will Survive — Gloria Gaynor
125. Side Saddle — Russ Conway
126. Dirrty — Christina Aguilera Ft. Redman
127. Devil Gate Drive — Suzi Quatro
128. Theme From MASH — The Mash
129. You Win Again — Bee Gees
130. Just Dance — Lady Gaga
131. Last Christmas — Wham!
132. Call Me Maybe — Carly Rae Jepson
133. I’m A Believer — The Monkees
134. Going Underground — The Jam
135. Make It Easy On Yourself
136. Eternal Flame — The Bangles
137. Afraid To Feel — LF System
138. Professional Window — Tori Amos
139. Down Down — Status Quo
140. Prince Charming — Adam & The Ants
141. Angel Fingers — Wizzard
142. Jack Your Body — Steve Silk Hurley
143. Blue Moon — The Marcels
144. Too Much Too Young — The Specials
145. The Power Of Love — Frankie Goes To Hollywood
146. Schools Out — Alice Cooper
147. Maneater — Nelly Furtado
148. I’m Still Waiting — Diana Ross
149. Honky Tonk Women — The Rolling Stones
150. Firestarter — Prodigy
151. You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling — Righteous Brothers
152. All The Things She Said — TATU
153. Jailhouse Rock — Elvis Presley
154. Running Up That Hill — Kate Bush
155. We Don’t Talk Anymore — Cliff Richard
156. Super Trouper — ABBA
157. Leave Right Now — Will Young
158. Gotta Get A Message To You — Bee Gees
159. What A Wonderful World — Louis Armstrong
160. Would I Lie To You — Charles & Eddie
161. Spinning Around — Kylie Minogue
162. Smile — Lily Allen
163. Independent Women — Destiny’s Child
164. Head & Heart — Joel Corry & Mnek
165. Ride On Time — Black Box
166. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart — Elton John & Kiki Dee
167. Get Down — Gilbert O’Sullivan
168. Its Over — Roy Orbison
169. I Feel For You — Chaka Khan
170. There’s Always Something To Remind Me — Sandie Shaw
171. Xanadu — Olivia Newton John & ELO
172. Heaven Is A Place On Earth — Belinda Carlisle
173. Albatross — Fleetwood Mac
174. Give It To Me — Timbaland
175. Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep — Middle Of The Road
176. The Name Of The Game — ABBA
177. I Love It — Icona Pop
178. A Little Peace — Nicole
179. Distant Drums — Jim Reeves
180. Hold Me Close — David Essex
181. Crazy — Gnarls Barkley
182. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me — Culture Club
183. Paint It Black — The Rolling Stones
184. I Wanna Dance With Somebody — Whitney Houston
185. Spirit In The Sky — Norman Greenbaum
186. Happy — Pharrell Williams
187. You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me — Dusty Springfield
188. Lola’s Theme — Shapeshifters
189. Don’t Call Me Baby — Madison Avenue
190. Cathy’s Clown — Everly Brothers
191. Don’t Leave Me This Way — Communards
192. Royals — Lorde
193. Shaking All Over — Johnny Kidd & The Pirates
194. The Fear — Lily Allen
195. Let Me Be Your Fantasy — Baby D
196. True — Spandau Ballet
197. The Sun Always Shines On TV — Aha
198. Stranger In Paradise — Tony Bennett
199. You Don’t Know Me — Armand Van Helden
200. Come On Eileen — Dexys Midnight Runners
201. YMCA — Village People
202. Move Closer — Phyllis Nelson
203. Viva La Vida — Coldplay
204. Show You The Way To Go — The Jacksons
205. Stay — Shakespears Sister
206. Feel It — The Tamperer
207. Everlasting Love — The Love Affair
208. Chanson D’amour — The Manhattan Transfer
209. New Rules — Dua Lipa
210. Dreamer — Livin’ Joy
211. Fire — Crazy World Of Arthur Brown
212. 2 Become 1 — Spice Girls
213. Call Me — Blondie
214. Bleeding Love — Leona Lewis
215. Coz I Luv U — Slade
216. Johnny Remember Me — John Leyton
217. All Or Nothing — Small Faces
218. Just A Little — Liberty X
219. I’ll Never Fall In Love Again — Bobbie Gentry
220. Only Girl In The World — Rihanna
221. Don’t Look Back In Anger — Oasis
222. Dreams — Gabrielle
223. Que Sera Sera, Whatever Will Be — Doris Day
224. I’m Alive — The Hollies
225. Stay Another Day — East 17
226. Needles & Pins — Searchers
227. Magic Moments — Perry Como
228. Take A Chance On Me — ABBA
229. Breathe — Prodigy
230. You To Me Are Everything — The Real Thing
231. Mr Tambourine — The Byrds
232. Sugar Baby Love — The Rubettes
233. Use It Up Wear It Out — Odyssey
234. Silver Lady — David Soul
235. Why — Anthony Newley
236. Country House — Blur
237. A Good Heart — Feargal Sharkey
238. Blinding Lights — The Weeknd
239. Memories Are Made Of This — Dean Martin
240. So You Win Again — Hot Chocolate
241. Black Coffee — All Saints
242. Uptown Funk — Mark Ronson
243. Long Live Love — Sandie Shaw
244. Woman In Love — Barbra Streisand
245. Float On — The Floaters
246. I Remember You — Frank Ifield
247. Old Town Road — Lil Nas X
248. I Can’t Give You You Anything — Stylistics
249. Come Up And See Me (Make Me Smile) — Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel
250. Whispering Grass — Don Estelle & Windsor Davies
251. Ring My Bell — Anita Ward
252. I Love To Love — Tina Charles
253. Flat Beat — Mr Oizo
254. Tears Of A Clown — Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
255. Are You Ready For Love — Elton John
256. When Will I See You Again — Three Degrees
257. Legend Of Xanadu — Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich
258. Pure Shores — All Saints
259. Mama Weer All Crazee Now — Slade
260. Sorry — Madonna
261. Oh Carolina — Shaggy
262. Mirrors — Justin Timberlake
263. Respectable — Mel & Kim
264. Israelites — Desmond Dekker
265. Telephone — Lady Gaga & Beyonce
266. Oh Mein Papa — Eddie Calvert
267. Bulletproof — La Roux
268. Without You — Nilsson
269. Freaky Friday — Dave & Fredo
270. Genie In A Bottle — Christina Aguilera
271. Bad Moon Rising — Creedence Clearwater Revival
272. Lady (Hear Me Tonight) — Modjo
273. Mmmbop — Hanson
274. Jealous Guy — Roxy Music
275. Fairground — Simply Red
276. He Ain’t Heavy He’s My Brother — The Hollies
277. The Reflex — The Duran Duran
278. Praise You — Fatboy Slim
279. Sunny Afternoon — The Kinks
280. Under Pressure — Queen & David Bowie
281. 19 — Paul Hardcastle
282. 21 Seconds — So Solid Crew
283. Poker Face — Lady Gaga
284. Telegram Sam — T Rex
285. Ebeneezer Goode — The Shamen
286. Sweet Like Chocolate — Shanks & Bigfoot
287. Grace Kelly — Mika
288. King — Years & Years
289. Promises — Calvin Harris & Sam Smith
290. I Got U — Duke Dumont & Jax Jones
291. Fame — Irene Cara
292. Look Right Through — Storm Queen & Mk
293. Everything I Own — Ken Boothe
294. Vossi Bop — Stormzy
295. Unchained Melody — Righteous Brothers
296. Frozen — Madonna
297. Pray — Take That
298. Feels Like I’m Love — Kelly Marie
299. Tragedy — Bee Gees
300. Three Times A Lady — Commodores
So there you have it. Fancy a playlist? Of course you do.